Surrogacy is no longer a part of my life that I choose to blog about. If any of you that follow this blog would like to follow my primary blog, please feel free to click here. Otherwise, you can unsubscribe because I will be returning this blog to private. Thanks.
Posted on August 18, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
This is the same as what I posted on my surrogacy message board and other blog.
I wanted to start off by saying thank you for all the kind posts, emails, FB messages, texts, visits, etc that I received from you guys. I appreciate it greatly.
So, yesterday morning I had to report to L&D at 7am to get prepped for my 9am c-section. Other than me almost making the girl in ER who checked us in cry, it was all smooth. My nurse was a dream, an older woman who was like a grandma. She did all the routine checking in and then we took time to talk about the baby and what I wanted to do. The anesthesiologist came in and gave me the option of being put to sleep, or having a spinal. I chose the spinal. Then my OB came in to see how things were going… It was then I got to tell him that the OR would not be doom and gloom. What happened to Leah (who my husband and I named, not my IPs) was a tragedy, but nothing could be done about it now. None of us had any control over what had happened before, only what can happen now… So the OR was a pleasant place, with dirty jokes and teasing.
When I got back to my room, Erica (surro mom of 2) and Jen (GestJenn) were there. We spent some time visiting and relaxing, while Erica rubbed my feet! 
After awhile they left and I had a couple local visitors… So, after the visiting and a quick nap, DH and I decided it was time to visit with Leah. My fabulous nurse went and got her some clothes and I gave her the blanket my mom made… and she got her all ready for us.
All I can say is that she was perfect. Every detail of her face was perfect and tiny. I just couldn’t get over how adorable her tiny little nose was! I fell in love immediately. We both took turns holding her, talking about her and taking pics. We unwrapped her and saw her perfect little body. Its amazing how a baby who was 7.5 inches long and weighed 7 ounces could look so much like a baby. You hear about it and you *know* they do, but to see it in real life is amazing.
After I let the nurse take her away, she brought me a memory box full of stuff she did for Leah and her clothes and blanket.
I left the hospital about 9pm last night, a new record for me. (12 hours this time, 14 hours last time). I am home and resting with my family.
The surgery itself was a breeze. Easy in and out. I have a new internal scar, a mini classical incision. My OB chose that so I would be able to get pregnant again in the future, if I so choose. Anyway, medically, it was a breeze. Physically it was just like any other c-section I’ve had and emotionally it brought some great healing to deliver her and hold her. Sadly, I don’t think I’ll ever be able to look at my IPs the same way. I am working on not being angry… not for myself, but for Leah. I don’t think they have any idea where I am coming from and honestly, thats fine. I just don’t want to talk about it anymore.
Sorry this got so long. I just wanted to share with all of you that have supported my through this and in the past.
Posted on July 21, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
December 19th, 2007 – Relationship between IM and I begins.
January 19th, 2009 (1 year and 1 month later) – I deliver their son.
July 18th 2010 – I deliver the body of their daughter who passed in utero at 19 weeks.
July 19th, 2010 – the relationship is officially over.
2 years and 7 months, most of which involved cycling, being pregnant or preparing to be pregnant FOR THEM.
Ironic.
Posted on July 20, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Well, this baby that never moves, but gives me just about constant migraines and makes me throw up when I brush my teeth, IS A GIRL. I should have known. 
DH and I both thought girl and have never been wrong… I guess there’s a first time for everything.
Posted on June 29, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Last Friday, at 15 weeks 5 days, I felt the first little baby flutter. If I remember correctly, that is the earliest I’ve ever felt anything… but I am not 100% sure. Now, I am talking FLUTTER, not kick, movement, etc. I think anyone who says they feel that with one baby before, say, 16 weeks is a little full of it. But, thats my opinion. Anyway, I felt another little flutter today at 16 weeks 3 days. Fun, huh?
Posted on June 17, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Today I am 15 weeks and 4 days. Nothing new is happening. Still dealing with progesterone “issues” which was to be expected. My clinic still hasn’t chose to use their brain, so we are pretty much calling the shots on our own. I am still on progesterone suppositories and will be until about 18 weeks or so. My level 2 days ago was 30, up from 23 the last time we had it drawn. Progress is progress.
I have my “big” ultrasound on the 29th (I will be 18 weeks 2 days), followed by an OB appt. I will repeat both of those 4 weeks later when my IPs are here. I have a belly now, I popped out about a week earlier than last time… but considering I probably don’t have any muscle left, it was expected.
I think thats about it…
**I just read my last post where I said I refuse to get another ultrasound until 15/16 weeks… well, the RE wanted one and I said no. They can wait until 18 weeks like everyone else. **
Posted on June 10, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
At 7:30 in the morning!!!!! It was a good ultrasound, baby is fine… measuring right on. I refuse to go again until AT LEAST 15/16 weeks. I will be 13 weeks on Sunday.
Posted on May 21, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Was 26. Better than last pregnancy.
Posted on May 13, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
On one of the surrogacy websites I go to there was a thread about traditional surrogates not being forgotten on Mother’s Day. For anyone who doesn’t know, a traditional surrogate is a surrogate who uses her own eggs, so the baby is biologically hers (and the intended fathers), that she in turn gives to an infertile or gay couple that she is working with.
Lets start out with me saying that I am not for traditional surrogacy. In my opinion, you are giving away your child, even if its not yours and your husbands. I can understand it more in a family situation (like being a traditional surrogate for your sister), but not to some couple that you meet through an agency, or online.
Anyway, most traditional surrogates (that I know of) say that the child they conceived and carried is not theirs and was never intended to be theirs, since the child was conceived in a surrogacy agreement. If that is true, why is it that all these TS’s want/need to be remembered on Mother’s Day? Can you truly have it both ways? “Its not my baby! It’s not my baby!” “Oh wait, no one wished me happy mothers day for the child that I gave away in a surrogacy arrangement!” You cannot swear up and down that the baby is not yours and still want to be recognized on mother’s day. It just doesn’t make sense.
As a gestational carrier, I don’t have any need to be recognized on Mother’s Day. It plays no part in that holiday. (And I have heard, “well, since you had surro dude you made someone else a mother” and yeah, thats true. Call her and tell her happy mothers day and leave me out of it.)
I just feel like we as surrogates play a role, accomplish a task and should move on. The problem is a lot of them seem to not move on. I don’t mean cut off all contact, I just mean, remember that you have a life, or had one before surrogacy. More than likely you have your own children and family that you should spend more time worrying about.
Apparently I had a little rant pent up in me. I think there’s more, so I better go before I spew out 30 pages of opinions.
Posted on May 8, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
SCH is smaller, baby is bigger. Everything is fine.
I’m not puking up my guts anymore, so thats nice.
Posted on May 3, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Had another ultrasound yesterday. SCH is the same size, baby is the right size, all is well. If in three weeks the SCH is the same size and the baby is still fine, I am DONE with these ultrasounds. I hope the RE agrees because I am tired of wasting an hour and a half every Monday for no reason.
I also had my first OB appointment yesterday. Forgot how much I love my OB!! I got a couple prescriptions and some lab slips, so now I won’t have to see him again until June 1st!!
Thats all for now.
Posted on April 27, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
I had another ultrasound last Monday… and will have one every Monday for at least the next three weeks. Baby is still fine, growing just right. The SCH is still there and the same size.
Posted on April 18, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
This morning at 11am I had my ultrasound. We saw one cute little bean with a heartbeat. I also have a SCH. Also known as a subchorionic hematoma. They are very common in early pregnancy and nothing to worry about. Anyway, thats the update!!
Posted on April 7, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Ultrasound is tomorrow!!! I'm getting excited!!!
Posted on April 5, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Ultrasound is one week from today, Tuesday the 6th at 11am!! SUPER EXCITED.
Posted on March 31, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Ultrasound is one week from today, Tuesday the 6th at 11am!! SUPER EXCITED.
Posted on March 31, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Today was my last beta and it was 211. Now we wait for the ultrasound, which will be on the 6th.
Posted on March 26, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Today my beta is 98. It more than doubled, which is good news! I will have to have ONE more beta, since the clinic likes to see it over 100 before they stop.
Ultrasound should be in a couple weeks!
Posted on March 25, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
My beta is 43.
I’ll expand on that later.
Posted on March 23, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Waiting on my beta, waiting on my beta, waiting on my beta, la la la la.
Posted on March 23, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
There are two kinds of beta’s… a quantitative and a qualitative. Quantitative measures the actual amount of HCG in your blood and qualitative just tells you yes, there is some there, or no, there’s not.
With IVF they check the amount. They want to know how much HCG you are producing. Amounts and doubling time can show an RE many different things about the pregnancy.
Anyway, thats what I am doing tomorrow. My appt is at 8:40am, so the results should be be back by 2 or 3pm.
Posted on March 22, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
So I’ve had people asking when I can test and when I tested last time.
The blood test is usually scheduled 10-14 days after transfer. That’s why it’s called the two week wait or 2ww. Some people can take home pregnancy tests (hpts) a week or so after transfer and get positives.
My last surrogacy I tested one week after transfer and got a positive. If I were testing this time, I would have started Wednesday. But I have decided to just wait for the blood test.
Posted on March 20, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
I have been testing since Tuesday. Okay FINE, Monday night.
Since my transfer was at 2:30pm and the time changed pushed us ahead an hour, my dpt is being counted from 3pm to 3pm…
So, I tested Monday night 5dp3dt and it was negative (thank goodness because if I got a positive THAT early, I would be worrying that I am carrying a litter!!)… So I tested Tuesday night and nothing still (and that still okay with me!)… Then Wednesday at 6pm (so, 7dp3dt) I tested and there was a FAINT line.
Now, unless you have done some sort of IVF or IUI, you more than likely never tested until your period was due or a couple days before, so if you saw a line, it was a LINE. In surrogacy/IVF land, we crazies start testing what would equal a WEEK before your period would be due. So the line… is… well… faint. There are certain angles and techniques (yeah, I called then techniques) that you can use to see the “line”… Anyway….
At 9pm I tested again, mainly to make sure there was STILL a line, since those blue dye HPTs have a bad rep. It was still there. So, in the AM (still 7dp3dt because of the 3pm-3pm day change) I took another and and it was still there! All good news. So, that same day at noon I took ANOTHER test, but this one was a pink dye test (they have a better reputation) and there was that faint line again! So last night I took another one of the same pink dye to see… and it was darker!! WOOHOO!! PROOF!!
Geez, this is getting long…
This morning I woke up to take my last “line test” after that all I had left was a digital. You know the ones that flat out say “pregnant” or “not pregnant”? I like those. No “techniques” needed. Well, the line test was a DUD!! Can you believe it? So, I had no other choice but to take the digital.
3 agonizing minutes later it said “pregnant” ))
So, some of you may be wondering why I lied in the first place and what it boils down to is I didnt want my IM to know. I had this cute way of telling her all planned out… and how lame is this? I didnt even use it!! I flat out just called her and told her! The cool part is that I got to tell my IF too! He had IM’s cell phone today and that was the first number I called.
Anyway… if you made it this far… WOW. I don’t even want to reread it. The bottom line is… WE’RE PREGNANT. )
Posted on March 20, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Thats what I have been having. EVERY. NIGHT. Some are darn near ridiculous. Some are shareable, some are not… but NONE are post-able. Sorry. The good of the craziness? I only have dreams like that when I’m pregnant. The bad is that I could just finally be going crazy.
Progesterone level yesterday was 43.
Posted on March 18, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
Should I test?? Should I??
NOPE!!!
Posted on March 18, 2010 | Filed under Gestational Surrogates | Permalink
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